Breakdown
I had a breakdown today. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't fun. I yelled at my husband and broke down in tears. Yeah, I felt childish after it happened, but I was so very frustrated and overwhelmed.
Over the past few months, I've totally ignored the gluten issue. In fact, I've eaten TONS of stuff with gluten in it, not really caring that I'd suffer for it later. And maybe I could keep putting up with the pain and the gas and the "digestive issues" except for one thing: I'm pretty certain that all of this weakens my immune system. Early this month, I caught a "bug" at work. I started feeling the symptoms on the fourth or the fifth. It is now the twenty-first and I am still sick. This isn't usual. There's at least one or two weekends a month where I cannot do anything. I have to stay at home, sick. Many months, I'm sick three or four weekends... yes, sometimes EVERY weekend in a month. It's either annoying or frustrating, depending on how long the sickness lasts. Nothing gets done around the house. I have no energy. Our weekend plans get tossed aside. You get the picture.
But that isn't why I ended up a ball of tears. (Okay, that's part of it. Being sick for nearly three weeks can make a person cranky.) The real reason had to do with grocery shopping. See, today was my first day back "gluten-free". But because I'm still sick, my husband went out, got food for today, and told me to do some grocery shopping online while he was gone. When he came back, the only food I'd managed to put in the cart was tuna, rice, and cheese. I told him that's what I was eating for the week, and that he should get himself a bunch of microwavable meals or whatever he wanted to cook. Big argument ensues because my husband knows that I'd be tired of tuna, rice, and cheese by lunch on Tuesday. I didn't care. After all, I couldn't figure out what to eat and, to be honest, was holding a mini-pity-party for myself. Despite all my protesting and insisting that I had no clue what to eat (at the time, really, I couldn't think of anything), my husband insisted I order more things that I could eat.
"But, honey, I don't know what to order. I can't eat 99% of what we're used to ordering. You don't know what it's like to feel like you can't eat ANYTHING."
"Start by adding potatoes. You can have meat, too. Get some of that."
So, I did. I added those things and then some more. I still figure that I might need more food towards the end of the week, but I think I'm going to hit up Whole Foods on Wednesday night. I hear they're having a gluten-free vendor going on from six to seven that night.
Anyway, I'm still frustrated. And pissed. And yes, I feel a bit sorry for myself... but at least I'm not crying anymore.
Over the past few months, I've totally ignored the gluten issue. In fact, I've eaten TONS of stuff with gluten in it, not really caring that I'd suffer for it later. And maybe I could keep putting up with the pain and the gas and the "digestive issues" except for one thing: I'm pretty certain that all of this weakens my immune system. Early this month, I caught a "bug" at work. I started feeling the symptoms on the fourth or the fifth. It is now the twenty-first and I am still sick. This isn't usual. There's at least one or two weekends a month where I cannot do anything. I have to stay at home, sick. Many months, I'm sick three or four weekends... yes, sometimes EVERY weekend in a month. It's either annoying or frustrating, depending on how long the sickness lasts. Nothing gets done around the house. I have no energy. Our weekend plans get tossed aside. You get the picture.
But that isn't why I ended up a ball of tears. (Okay, that's part of it. Being sick for nearly three weeks can make a person cranky.) The real reason had to do with grocery shopping. See, today was my first day back "gluten-free". But because I'm still sick, my husband went out, got food for today, and told me to do some grocery shopping online while he was gone. When he came back, the only food I'd managed to put in the cart was tuna, rice, and cheese. I told him that's what I was eating for the week, and that he should get himself a bunch of microwavable meals or whatever he wanted to cook. Big argument ensues because my husband knows that I'd be tired of tuna, rice, and cheese by lunch on Tuesday. I didn't care. After all, I couldn't figure out what to eat and, to be honest, was holding a mini-pity-party for myself. Despite all my protesting and insisting that I had no clue what to eat (at the time, really, I couldn't think of anything), my husband insisted I order more things that I could eat.
"But, honey, I don't know what to order. I can't eat 99% of what we're used to ordering. You don't know what it's like to feel like you can't eat ANYTHING."
"Start by adding potatoes. You can have meat, too. Get some of that."
So, I did. I added those things and then some more. I still figure that I might need more food towards the end of the week, but I think I'm going to hit up Whole Foods on Wednesday night. I hear they're having a gluten-free vendor going on from six to seven that night.
Anyway, I'm still frustrated. And pissed. And yes, I feel a bit sorry for myself... but at least I'm not crying anymore.
